Alone Again, Naturally
by SalemAnderson
Summary: This one-shot takes place sometime shortly before the movie starts, and it could fit into the canon given the blatant flirting we all see between our favorite blue alien and his sassy captive in the fake observatory.


**A/n: So, listening to the MM soundtrack, I was inspired by the song for which this story is named. Although, I don't think this really qualifies as a songfic, because only the title inspired it, and not the actual lyrics. And, this is my first Megamind fanfic, so please be gentle. :)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything of Megamind other than my DVD, my soundtrack and my obsession! Nods to Dreamworks for this excellent addition to my collection.**

**Summary: This one-shot takes place sometime shortly before the movie starts, and it could fit into the canon given the blatant flirting we all see between our favorite blue alien and his sassy captive in the fake observatory.**

Alone Again, Naturally

He was slumped in his favorite high-backed black leather rolling chair staring at the wall thinking about everything and nothing. He didn't understand why his life was one destined to be so hard and so painfully lonely. He had only one real companion: Minion, who was the only being who had ever shown him any semblance of love. That was a small comfort, but he also knew that the job entrusted to his friend by the parents he had lost so long ago was a lifetime obligation. It wasn't the same as having someone make a conscious choice to be his friend.

He wasn't usually one to wallow in self pity but lately, he had been lamenting the cards destiny had dealt him. In his moments of serenity, which were very few and far in between, he wondered if there would ever be a chance to change his hand and maybe even win the game. He knew that he didn't want to be alone for his entire life, but it seemed that Fate had its own designs for him and he had no choice in the matter. Even Fate picks its favorites.

His chair moved - totally of its own volition, mind you - and rotated so he was facing his captive. She was just another way Fate had been cruel to him. The woman with whom he had so much undeniable chemistry and who sparked such feelings in his soul belonged to his nemesis. This person, to whom he owed the bulk of his ostracism, was none other than Metrocity's beloved hero, Metro _Mahn_. That seemed to be the way it was meant to be - Mr. Goodie-two-shoes got everything, and Megamind got nothing.

He snorted and leaned his head back against the chair as he thought about how he had to practically force people to be around him. Every single person he had ever had any contact with immediately became uncomfortable and had no desire other than to be out of his presence. The warden and Minion were the only exceptions. Popularity wasn't something he really wanted anyway, just simple acceptance of his right to exist freely and for people to not look at him like he was a thing. But because of his appearance and the part he was chosen to play, his actions for most of his life seemed to indicate to an outside observer that attention – any attention, negative or positive – was all that he wanted.

In truth, and even Minion wasn't completely aware of this, he just wanted to love and be loved. Then again, he hardly had any idea what love really was. He knew he felt something intense and not unpleasant whenever he was in the presence of the lovely woman sitting across from him, despite her obvious disdain for him. His experiences in childhood had certainly shown him the cruel nature of society, but they never managed to dampen his natural spirit and curiosity. The warden had been the closest thing to a father he had ever known, but even he kept himself at a cautious distance. So, as he had never really been taught what love felt like, he had no frame of reference for comparison. All he knew was that his heart felt hollow except when she was there.

The people who were the only family he had ever really known were mostly criminals and cops, and neither of those groups really tried or wanted to understand anything more about him than his public persona let on. He had learned through studying world history that the narrow-minded human race in general tended to segregate and persecute almost anyone who was different in opinion or appearance, unless they had power. He was certainly different from the humans in every respect visible, his opinions were most definitely not shared by anyone else, and he had no real power aside from his impressive intellect, so he had resigned himself to the fact that he would be an outcast for his entire life. Albeit a super intelligent, devilishly handsome one, but still, an outcast.

As he grew older, he learned that cruelty at the hands of these humans was the part of his life that he would always have to endure. Between Metro _Mahn_'s constant desire to see him punished and the soft-headed masses who blindly followed whatever the miniscule-minded muscle man said, he never stood a chance of being accepted for his merits. So, he found a kind of public approval at providing a genuine challenge for their hero, causing mayhem and destruction because that was what the masses expected of him and he was nothing if not a showman.

His seemingly inscrutable optimism was put to the test time and time again, and he always emerged ready to fight another day. Lately, however, he hadn't felt a sense of fulfillment from any of it, and that feeling of worthlessness was causing his present state of _mel-onc-olly_ to entrap him like a weighted net. Certainly Fate hadn't caused him to crash land here just so everyone else on this planet would have a common enemy – someone to loathe and despise - right?

She began to stir at that moment, disrupting his reverie. He swirled his chair around so it was facing away from her just before she made her present state of consciousness known. "What, no bag this time?" her voice was dripping with haughty sarcasm. He sighed. What was he thinking doing this tonight?

"No, Ms. Ritchi, not this time," he said mechanically. He remained sitting with the chair facing away from her, unwilling to meet her annoyed expression. His heart had taken quite a beating at her fair hands - unbeknownst to her - and as vulnerable as he was feeling at that moment, he didn't know how much of her insulting jabs he would be able to withstand.

He already knew there was no possible way that his temptress could ever share the feelings he had for her, but his susceptible state of mind caused his huge brain to think of nothing else. She was as close to perfection as he had ever hoped to see. To her, he knew that he was just obnoxious and intrusive; a pest to be swatted away. Normally, he would eagerly take whatever attention she was willing to give him and be happy, but he was not in the mood for games at that moment. He really should re-think this plan.

"Oh. Well, what is it this time, Megamind?" Her tone was one of annoyance but she seemed to sense that he was not quite himself and kept it light. He was uncharacteristically solemn when he looked up at her. He decided in that moment that he wasn't going to go through with the plan he had started by kidnapping her this time. He just wasn't feeling it. He sighed again as he stared intently into her eyes from his position at a distance. It was a good thing they hadn't gotten started yet. Metro _Mahn_ had yet to be summoned.

"You know, actually I have decided...to call it off for tonight." He stood up from his chair and approached hers, circling around so he was behind her. He leaned into her personal space and said directly in her ear, "We will pick this up at another time." She inhaled and unconsciously moved closer to his form as he started to untie the knot on the rope wrapped around her and the chair.

She turned her head to stare at him with one eyebrow raised and a smirk on her face. Looking him directly in the eyes, she said, "Is that a threat or a promise?" Her tone was the mildly flirty one he'd had the infrequent pleasure of hearing from her in these situations. Of course, it was not a usual occurrence for Minion to be out of the Lair during a plan.

His heart flopped in his chest like a fish out of water. _Was_ she flirting with him? His hands fumbled with the knot he had been fiddling with causing him to look down, breaking the spell she had him in. She couldn't possibly have been flirting with him. Still he refused to believe, as intelligent a woman as she was, that she wasn't fully aware of the effect she had on him; and there was no way he was going to let her mess with him like that. He knew she wasn't talking to him like that for any reason other than to unnerve him and he couldn't take it.

Deciding that the rope knot was taking too long for his comfort due to her proximity, he stood up and made a bee-line for the shelf at the edge of the room to retrieve the can of knock-out gas that resided upon it. He looked down at it sitting on the shelf and paused, realizing that the spiked spray can was just another example of the lengths he had to go to for her – anyone – to be in his presence. And of course, no one would do that willingly, especially not her. That was the primary reason he only kidnapped her.

His thoughts were interrupted by a pressure on his shoulder, under his spiked collar-piece. He immediately tensed up and looked down to find a creamy peach hand touching him. Apparently he'd done a better job with the rope than he had originally believed. His instinct was to cringe away from the warm touch, but something stopped him. "Megamind, you don't seem like yourself tonight. Is something the matter?" He looked directly into her eyes, so close now that he could see every fleck of each shade of blue and silver that made up their gorgeous color.

"How would you know who I am?" he said suddenly, effectively stopping his train of thought about her lovely eyes. She seemed taken slightly aback by the abruptness of his question. Her hand flinched on his shoulder.

"I've known you for years-" she began to protest softly.

He interrupted her, "All you know about me is what I've told you. You and every other person in Metrocity." He spat the words at her angrily, venting his earlier frustration on her, "Don't think for one moment that you know anything about ME!" His voice was dark and intense and rose in volume as he got to the end of his rant even though he was less than a foot from her face. It seemed to unnerve her - for once! Her eyes narrowed and she withdrew her hand from his shoulder completely. He instantly regretted raising his voice at her when she looked at him with blatant hurt in her eyes.

He sighed heavily and looked pointedly away from her, shoulders drooping in defeat. Why oh why did she have such power over him? He grimaced at himself for being weak. He thought that Fate had been particularly cruel to put this woman in his life, although he couldn't bring himself to regret her having been a large part of that life over the last several years. He didn't regret one moment of it in fact, except maybe that it had been necessary to tie her up to get her to stay, but he would never admit that to anyone.

He cleared his throat. "I uh... I will admit that," he spoke softly to her after a long uncomfortable silence, "you probably know the most actual truth about me, aside from Metro _Mahn_ and Minion. And the Warden." He was still turned away from her and spoke so quietly that she could barely hear him say, "But that doesn't mean that you know who I am."

His admission caused her to stop backing away from him. She straightened herself and approached his hunched form again. This time she didn't touch him. He straightened his own posture when she came near and reluctantly turned to face her. She looked directly into his eyes and leaned in, her arm coming up behind him. He froze. Was she about to do what he thought she was about to do? She leaned in until their noses were almost touching and then stopped. "I would love to know more about you, you know?" He swallowed, his throat suddenly dry.

Still holding him entranced with her gaze, she began to pull away. His first instinct was to grab her and make her stay, but he didn't act on it. "For now, I think we've both had enough for one night," she said with a small smile. She returned to a more conversational distance and handed something to him. He took it without looking at it, still held captive in her eyes. "We'll pick this up another time," she said echoing his own words. It was then that he looked down at what she had handed him. "Take me home?"

"Of course, Ms. Ritchi," he said politely, allowing one tiny glimmer of his true self to show through for her. The item she had been reaching for on the shelf behind him was the knock-out gas. He held the spray can for a moment before he said, "You know, just this once, I could blindfold you instead of using this, if you would prefer. I just can't have nosy reporters knowing where my lair is."

She was thoughtful for a moment before responding. "No, I think I would rather you knock me out. Minion is really good about getting me settled in my apartment when I am passed out from that stuff. I normally wake up in my bed feeling like it was nothing more than a bad dream. I am sure he will do fine this time too."

"Yeah, well that's a great idea, except that Minion isn't here!"

"Where is he?"

"That's none of your business, Ms. Ritchi."

The smug flirty tone he used made her smirk at him and resume the playfully-amused-but-annoyed-banter tone of voice she usually reserved most for their encounters. "So, can't you just put me in my bed instead of Minion?" His eyes went wide at her impertinent question. A split second later, she realized what she said, blushed a little, and then added teasingly, "I mean if the great Megamind would ever stoop to doing the grunt's clean-up work, that is."

He smirked to himself and then looked at her in earnest, a throaty laugh in his tone, "No, no. I don't think that will be a problem." He raised the can and pointed it at her face. "It's been a pleasure, as always, Ms. Ritchi," he said in the same uncharacteristic polite tone he'd used earlier.

"For me too, actually," she said as if she was surprised by the thought. He pressed the button on the top of the can to dispense the fine mist that would render her unconscious. As he watched her slowly fall asleep standing up, she fell into him and he wrapped his arms around her waist to hold her up. His heart did the flopping thing again as he held her for a moment. The hand that wasn't occupied with supporting his beautiful charge placed the spray can back on the shelf. Then, he bent down and scooped her up into his arms, cradling her against his chest. His heart still wasn't beating normally, but he ignored it and made his way to the lift at the edge of the room.

He carried Roxanne to the black Hudson, parked in its usual spot, thanking his own forgetfulness as he realized the passenger door was still open from when he had arrived with his captive earlier that evening. He gently placed her in the seat of the car and fastened her seat belt before closing the door. The seat belts on the car were hardly ever used. What kind of a villain obeys even the most practical laws? Still, he felt like she should be secured more safely in the car. He sat down in the driver's seat, not fastening his own seat belt of course, and drove out of the lair after activating the light-bending invisibility field.

As he drove the 20-odd blocks to her apartment building, the jostling of the car started to make her slide on the seat. Perhaps he should have laid her down in the back seat as Minion usually did. His thoughts on the subject were interrupted when her head came to rest unceremoniously against his arm. She was snoring lightly and he could tell she was still completely unconscious from the spray, so he lifted his arm slowly and guided her head down until it rested against his thigh (much fewer spikes in that area of his costume). His body reacted involuntarily to her proximity, but he did his best to ignore it. He'd spent years denying himself, so it was almost second nature to him to resist her closeness. Still, he couldn't deny that her position was extremely distracting to a large part of his brain.

After a few minutes, he noticed that they were nearing their destination. He parked the car in an alley behind the building and turned off the engine, leaving the invisibility field active. He thought for a moment about how to get her from the car to her apartment without causing a scene. Then, he remembered the prototype he and Minion had been working on earlier that week that they had left in the glove compartment after the last test. He retrieved the watch-looking device and strapped it to his wrist. Its functionality was still somewhat limited, but it would do for this small task. He turned the dial and watched as his spiked gloves disappeared in a flash of blue static, to be replaced by the pale skin of a young man with dark hair and a similarly wiry build. After opening the driver's side door of the car, he carefully wriggled out from under her, making sure that her head didn't slap against the seat. He closed the door and made his way around to the other side, hoping the entire time that no one would spot this strange behavior.

Thankfully, he was able to get Roxanne out of the car and back into his arms without an audience. He made his way around to the front door of the building and pressed the button on the call box to call the security guard. It was extremely late when they arrived, but the older man was still on duty. He saw Carlos sit up in his chair and press a button before he heard a voice through the small speaker, "Yes, can I help you, sir?"

Megamind spoke up with his own voice as he clutched his captive to his chest tightly, "Yes, I need to get Ms. Ritchi to her apartment." He looked at the security guard and nodded in Roxanne's direction. The man's eyes went wide.

"What happened to her?" he demanded. Megamind rolled his eyes. It was so much easier to dehydrate people than to explain himself to them, but he did not want to make a scene, so he formulated a quick lie.

"We uh - we were out on a date, and she uh - she got a little intoxicated." The man looked at the disguised Megamind disbelievingly. Apparently, Carlos knew Roxanne better than that. Letting out an exasperated sigh, he continued, "Look, I just want to make sure she gets home safely." He was losing patience rapidly and his arms were beginning to tremble from holding her the way he was. Suddenly, a loud buzzing sound penetrated his thoughts. He startled, almost losing his grip on her completely, and looked around angrily before realizing what happened.

Gratefully, he re-settled Roxanne in his embrace and backed into the apartment building, being very careful not to bang her head on the door. Once they were inside, she stirred a little in his arms, probably because the temperature dropped dramatically as they came indoors from the mid-summer night's warmth. He held his breath, not wanting her to awaken just then. Was she always this much trouble for Minion? After a moment, she took a deep breath, wrapped her arms around his shoulders, settled closer against his chest, and resumed snoring lightly. His grip on her tightened automatically.

As he made his way into the elevator, Carlos followed him. He turned around to see the short man standing in the doorway of the elevator eyeing him critically. Naturally distrustful, he shot the man a look that asked for understanding while still conveying that he meant business and had no intention of being stopped from completing his goal. The older man gave him a small smile and leaned over to press the button for Roxanne's floor before stepping out of the doorway and allowing the doors to close.

Noticing that they had a ride of 35 floors before reaching their destination, he slowly put Roxanne's legs down so her feet were on the floor. His arms were still wrapped tightly around her to prevent her from falling down, but without having to support her entire weight, they had stopped trembling for the time being. As he waited for the elevator to reach the intended floor, he pondered how Minion could have done this so many times and never been caught or raised suspicion. He made a mental note to ask the fish about it when he returned to his Lair.

After what seemed like mere moments, the soft ding of the elevator alerted him that the car had arrived at the chosen floor. He bent down slightly to pick her legs up again. Her arms tightened around his shoulders and she let out a contented sigh. Impulsively, he rested his head against the top of hers and inhaled the scent of her hair, allowing himself to be lost in the sensation of her closeness, and yearning for a time when she would actually be willing to be this close to him. He stumbled slightly in the hallway. Even unconscious, she still had an uncanny knack for distracting him completely. He mentally slapped himself to focus his thoughts. Indulging in fantasy was not a productive use of his intelligence, especially when that was all it would ever be.

Reaching her apartment door, he realized he didn't have a key to get in. He probably should have asked her for it before he knocked her out, but hindsight wasn't going to fix the problem now. He didn't feel right searching her for the key, so he did the only thing he could think of. Placing her feet back on the ground and leaning her against the door frame gently, he reached into a hidden pocket in his cape and retrieved a small piece of rolled fabric. He unrolled the black square and removed a lock-picking set. Seconds later, he heard the satisfying click letting him know the door was unlocked.

He pulled Roxanne's still sleeping form against him again and wrapped his arm around her waist to make sure she was stable before he opened the door. He picked her up in his cradling arms again and walked into the dark apartment, closing the door behind him with his foot. Once inside, he quickly made his way to her upstairs bedroom and laid her down on the bed. He arranged her into what seemed to be a comfortable position and draped her comforter over her prone form.

As he turned to leave, she stirred again and sighed, "Megamind." He inhaled sharply, thinking she was awake. He turned back slowly, but when he looked at her, she was still unconscious. He couldn't help but wonder what she was dreaming about that would have caused her to say his name like that. He left the room quietly, closing the door with a soft click behind him. Even though she wouldn't have known it was him since he still had the disguise generator on, he didn't want to risk her catching him in her bedroom.

As he was walking to the front door to leave her apartment, he remembered what she had said earlier about waking up feeling like it had all been nothing more than a bad dream. Suddenly, he realized that he didn't want her to forget the brief glimpse she'd had of the man behind the maniac. He wanted to leave some kind of memento behind so she would remember. He switched off the disguise generator and reached up to unclasp his collar from his shoulders, untying his cape as well. He took the collar off and removed the chrome "M" pin that he used as the clasp. He then removed his de-gun from its holster and dehydrated his cape and collar. Placing the small glowing blue cubes in his belt, he re-holstered his gun.

He snuck back up to Roxanne's bedroom and crept inside. She was still in the same position as she had been when he left minutes ago, lying on her side with her legs bent and her open hand resting on her pillow. Carefully, he approached her bed and placed his pin in her hand, curling her fingers around it. Satisfied, he quickly left the room and went back downstairs. After he reactivated the disguise generator, he checked to make sure he could lock the door without a key and secured the apartment before making his way to the elevator.

The ride down was not pleasant. Having been in close proximity with her for most of the last hour, he felt cold and lonely all of a sudden. He shivered and briefly wished he hadn't taken his cape off. The elevator dinged to let him know he had arrived at the ground level. He stepped off of the car and was greeted by Carlos again. The older man looked at him sternly, like an overprotective father, as he made his way to the exit, but didn't say a word.

The drive home was quiet and the lair was even quieter when he arrived since he knew that Minion was still out. Once inside, he deactivated the disguise generator and removed the device from his wrist, placing it back in the glove compartment. He got out of the car, deactivating the invisibility field, and immediately summoned a Brainbot to bring him another cape. He was still cold despite the outside temperature. Once appropriately attired, he walked straight to his planning room to begin mapping out his next scheme which would bring Ms. Ritchi back into his clutches.

END


End file.
